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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?